How do you separate your identity from your business?

[Pesso]

Hey Sellers,

We’ve previously talked about work-life balance in the practical sense of how you spend your time. Now we’re talking about the other side, your identity and how you define yourself.

Check out this article I wrote for the Community Blog, You are Not Your Business, and then dive into the comments here to answer:

• How do you separate your identity from your business?
• Who are you? Write an elevator pitch for yourself (not your business): one or two sentences defining and describing who you are with your passions, hobbies, and things you care about. 

Can’t wait to hear all about you and your strategies,

Pesso

[DLRosenberg]

To a certain extent, when you're an entrepreneur your business does become a bit of your identity.. however, so much of creating that separation requires really knowing who you are. As Gary Vee says, "success is a self-awareness game" & I truly believe that, When you know who you are, you don't get wrapped up in seeking outside approval. Typically when you're an entrepreneur that approval comes in the form of sales, deals, social media "likes", etc. It reminds me of my old sales training (early 00's) about "not getting attached to the outcome".. and that stuck. I tell my customers- buy it, don't buy it.. doesn't matter to me. They think that's very funny.

So who am I? 

"Dina strives to get the most out of life and her relationships. She strives to explore roads less travelled, the unique and the weird. The last thing she wants to do is what is expected. Life is meant to be an adventure and relationships are meant to be treasured, She puts people over things and surrounds herself with friends & family whenever possible."

[maxpete]

@DLRosenberg Not getting attached to the outcome is such a great call out! Your who am I pitch is incredible, something I will use for inspiration to better craft mine! 

[maxpete]

Ooof this is a hard one and something I struggled with a lot when I was running my own business. Something that I did was join groups/activities outside of what I did for work. Joining run clubs, joining communities focused on other non-work related topics, etc. all helped me get out of the 24/7 work mindset and also to connect with others outside of my field too. 

So now I like to refer to myself as a part-time DJ, full-time dog dad, and the one hand wonder man 😂

Tagging some members from the previous QotW thread that you posted earlier to hear their answers too! 

@Stacelyn24, @Lovewell, @GizzyDogGear, @Bronze_Palms & @TCSlaguna 

[Stacelyn24]

It's really hard because my business is such a reflection of me...I mean a mirror...carbon copy...you get the point lol 🙂

I have joined a few clubs as well, bu recently I started taking skating lessons because I totally forgot how to skate.  I asked for light up skates for Christmas and told myself that I'm going to do something out of the norm....so that helps me a little; turns my mind away from work.  This year coming up I'm actually going to plan events and trips...and mini staycations that will have totally nothing to do with work!

[maxpete]

Can totally relate!! Glad to hear that you are taking skating lessons and have some fun trips coming up too! Definitely take some down time, much deserved! 

[Sam_400º]

I'm self employed, and really I am my business and my business is me! 

The people that hire me for events really do hire me and I've realised that my pizza has to be to a standard I'm happy with but it could be the best and people wouldn't book me if I was a ****. 

Business me is different to home me, and I do prioritise home me for my kids and family. 

[VanKalkerFarms]

I'd say the TL;DR answer is I don't.  

My business is me.  I am my business.  People see me at my business and know it is mine and I am there for them.  It is one of the few things that you can do to separate yourself from Home Depot etc is that they know me, they know my kids as they were in the crib right there behind the cash register.  They see my girls at 10 and 13 and 17 years old waiting on them at the register and know they are TNG (The Next Generation for you nos Trekkies). They can tell my girls stories of this random lady (to my kids) holding my baby while I check out there cart full of stuff, etc.   I've been to customers funerals and I have had customers at my Mom's funeral because I am the link between them and the store.

Now I am also not separate from my business personally.  I said above I am my business, and my business is me.  Sometimes that means not going home from Monday morning at 5am till Wednesday before thanksgiving at 10pm.  That means taking a lot home to deal with and means long days for my me and my Wife. Means even when watching an episode of "Suits" you're reviewing spreadsheets or entering tomorrow's orders. I know it doesn't for the work-life balance, but it is awesome and I wouldn't change it.  I know the trend is to disconnect, but that isn't the life we have chosen.  Being owners of multiple retail and wholesale stores means I have chosen this path to walk and run on.  Yes we still get time to escape for a 5 day vacation, but even in Disney World there are still emails to answer and problems to solve. Yes there is time to watch a kids Dance completion at Nationals and just crash at home and read a book. In the end it is all so my family can have a good life and be setup so they can go onto their own life's adventures be that with me or own their own, AND so that my employees and their families can continue to have good paying jobs that I think are pretty good (I can't even comprehend how someone can with a straight face put out job posts with minimum wage tied to it, but that is a different story for a different day),  I have third generation employees that their mom worked for my grandpa and for my dad, and now one of their kids works for me and is having one of their kids start working too.

So as my opening line I'm not the person to ask because I don't know how not to be thinking of the next idea or product we could be doing or the next employee we can hire and what they can do.

Who am I? I am big thinker who likes the personal touch.  I like to have businesses and employees, AND that can help both my family, my employees, and my customers have better lives.  I like that sometimes things are hard and it is ok to fail, both hitting roadblocks and succeeding and also failing can drive you to the next step.  I like a family touch to my business and that my family can be involved and be part of it even as they grow up, both providing for them and teaching them how to connect with people, learn how to run a business, and to learn to try things and find out.

[maxpete]

Just came here to say that I really enjoyed reading what you wrote about the intertwined-ness of your business and your life. Much respect! 🤝

[JUYBoutique20]

Wow, this is a great discussion.  I definitely agree with having a life outside of your business.  I try to do more of my favorite things when I'm off like reading regular books, cooking, hanging out with my hubby and friends, binge watching Netflix, etc.

Who Am I?  Jackie is just a Mississippi girl who loves life and all the beauty it holds.  She believes everyone has a story to tell and a lesson to teach from that story.  I believe everyone has a purpose in this world and most of all no matter what "I Am Enough".  I love to love and when I love... I love hard.  

[maxpete]

A much needed reminder of "I Am Enough"!

[Bronze_Palms]

For a very long time, the business was my identity. For the last year, I have stepped back from that and gotten involved in my gym, MeetUp groups, book clubs, and reality TV (LOL). Tapping into pop culture and fiction books has really been my outlet; when I only immersed myself in the business, I naturally had nothing else to talk about. Pop culture and books has allowed me to diversify my convos, along with science advancements in health.

In short, I have really worked on rounding out who I am so it's not 100% business. I am a health junky who likes expensive coffees and trash TV, and i happen to own tanning salons in California 🤣😉

[maxpete]

Okay so I have to ask, what are your go to reality shows?? 📺

[rtfulk]

In the past 2 years our business has exploded and consumed our life so much it seems like that is all we are. Every minute of downtime we have we are thinking of our business, when we go out for a meal, we end up talking about the business. We took a cruise earlier this year and on sea days, I was putting up new items on the website. It’s hard to just turn off business.

Who am I? A 58 year old small business owner. I like astronomy, photography and metal detecting. Lately I only do photography and that’s because I’m taking product photos. I was always taught anything worth doing is doing right and don’t put in the effort if you can’t give 100%.

[maxpete]

Anything worth doing is worth doing right is such a great motto to live by!

[Jencasper1015]

In the past, I associated myself with what I did for a living.  My identity was based on everyone else's perception of me.  When I was around my family, I became the daughter, the sister they expected me to be.  When I was with a client, I became the coach they needed who had the ability to help them discover their answers.  Life has recently showed me I am not those perceived ideas.  Who am I? 

I AM.

I am whatever it is I choose.  

I separate myself from my practice by creating space.  I have office hours and I work during those office hours.  I create time for myself and check in with myself often throughout the day to make sure my needs are being met.  It is a change in perspective.  It is choosing to put yourself first and making sure your needs are taken care of BEFORE you try to help or be of service to others.  In life, we need to be present for ourselves.  I learned over the years about being co-dependent and losing one's identity within relationships.  This can happen with our careers. We can lose who we are because we are so dependent on our title or our occupation because we feel that defines us.  

In truth, our titles, our careers, and the roles we play don't define us.  We get to define who we are as a person.  When we do the inner work to find out who we are and who we want to become, it helps us create clear boundaries and balance work and life.  Too often, we get so wrapped up in working and being of service to others that we forget we must be of service to ourselves.  If we are not taking care of ourselves we are offering wine from an empty cup.  It is only when our cup is overflowing with love of ourselves that we can give with authenticity and love.

[maxpete]

Super powerful and I really resonated with "we get to define who we are as a person."

Appreciate you sharing this!

[Jencasper1015]

Thank you.

When we are in a state of BEING, we are our true authentic selves.  This state of being differs depending on how we are feeling that day.  When we are BEING mindfully true selves, life responds in kind.  By being mindful and being authentic, life gives us customers and experiences that mirror this.  Too often we look at what everyone else is and doing and try to mirror that.  It is our downfall when we are someone who we are not authentically.

Choose to BE you!  Everyone else is taken.

[maxpete]

Amen!!